Slow States Podcast #33: Wait You Guys Are Doing What?

Some might love it, we know at least one person is going to hate it. After getting through some light Big Ten news we announce our Great Summer Project which involves a list of 93 songs, a massive Excel spread sheet, and a guy at least one member of the Slow States immediate family thinks is scum on a good day. We end on a transitional whimper: the #1 song on our bottom ten.

Slow States Podcast #32: INSERT VEST PUN HERE.

WARNING: THIS CONTAINS THIRTEEN MINUTES OF POINTLESS PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING NEWS AND NOSTALGIA. We’re sorry. It wasn’t planned. If you want to get right to the Tressel stuff, click at the 12:55 mark. If you want to revel in the glorious nights Chris Jericho debuted in the WWF and declared himself The Man Of 1,004 Holds, just sit back and enjoy.

Regarding Tressel, the real crime is the lie, and the real news is the inevitable acknowledgement by Ohio State and The Senator himself. No reasonable person has ever bought the excuses about the cars, but forgive us if we’re not appalled that college players are trading memorabilia and spare equipment for weed or tattoos. Violations by stupid players? Yes. Chronic willful ignorance by Jim Tressel? Definitely. This is not, however, the scalp Sports Illustrated portrayed it to be. Shame, too.

Slow States Podcast 31: Midwest Bouillabaisse

We wrap up spring practice at Penn State and Iowa. And by "wrap up", I mean "aimlessly speculate". And by "spring practice", I mean "just about everything besides spring practice". The money quote of the entire podcast? Has to be Patrick referring to "Iowa 6, Penn State 4" as "the Rebecca Black 'Friday' of football". Oh, and this episode's cliffhanger: which Slow Stater paid a dive bar band to play "Rocky Top" every hour on the hour to annoy his Tennessee-hating friend?

Slow States Podcast 30: Spring Football, Tressel's Lies, And Wilbon's America

Is there anything more uselessly awesome than spring football? Or anything more awesomely useless as a Fiesta Bowl executive? We discuss these topics, take a few swings at the Sweatervest Piñata, and...whose father once dressed up as an Orange Bowl rep in order to sneak into a game? CLIFFHANGER.

Slow States Podcast #29: Crime Rules Everything Around Me

Slow States writers are not required to disclose their juvenile rap sheets during the application process. The result is massive street credibility and for Kevin, a second chance at life after he stole a street sign with his last name on it during the seventh grade. Jeff Benedict assures you that it was utterly ridiculous that Kevin wasn't relegated to Cuyahoga Community College for his transgressions. Or worse!

Our podcast can most accurately be described as the antithesis of this shameless plug from CNN's homepage:

But most fans, school officials and coaches have no idea about the extent of college football’s biggest problem these days: crime.

CRIME. And I thought college football's biggest problem was Jesse Palmer's continued employment.

Slow States Podcast #28: We Know What You Did Last Month

Okay, so it's been a while since the last podcast. We know. And no, we're not going to recap the horrific end to the Big Ten bowl season. It's a more friendly, more casual podcast featuring Patrick's unabated excitement for the return of The Rock to WWE and the tragic death of his Honda Accord during his aborted Super Bowl trip from Des Moines to Dallas. Scattered among the wreckage are tales from my newfound parenthood, Kevin's Mad Scientist brewing operation which has produced an IPA with a bitterness that makes Bell's Hopslam taste like tap water, and much more.

And of course, what would a Slow States podcast be without music tips, including Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, The Decemberists, Joanna Newsom, and Angus & Julia Stone. This week's beer tips: Victory's Golden Monkey, Highland Black Mocha Stout, Backpocket Slingshot Dunkel, and Bell's Two Hearted Ale.

Slow States Podcast #27: Football Ends, Things Get Interesting

It's been a weird week. Momentum that Iowa and Illinois built was crushed on January 1st in a way I didn't know was possible. Penn State avoided staff turnover when Tom Bradley was turned down for multiple HC jobs, and is now a guy that didn't get an interview from Pitt but somehow new lead candidate after the man they picked the first time around went to jail. But he doesn't have the job yet, and in combination with the on-again, off-again firing of RichRod at Michigan, we've seen the rebirth of the #KOK4Pitt and #JayPa4Michigan hashtags.

Patrick comes along for a bowl wrap before the Internet breaks in Iowa, leaving Chris and I to try and make sense of what in the world is going on at Penn State, where things are getting hairy.

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Music: It's a little mellow this week but I swear that's not on purpose. Bright Eyes has a new album on the way, more on that later, and your intro'd by the new Delta Spirit EP. Also, most creative use of a Delta Spirit song goes to Wolverine Liberation Army.